Money is a hot topic these days; you hear about how expensive everything is, from housing to grocery items. Inflation hit a 40-year high last year. It’s coming down, but it and the pandemic have upended our financial world.
The emotional side to personal finance, though, is often not discussed, and many people are suffering in silence.
But in the privacy of therapy sessions, my patients tell me, a certified financial therapist and psychologist, that their financial situations are affecting their quality of life:
“Thinking about this money stuff makes me feel queasy.”
“You want me to rate my stress on a scale of 1 to 10, but it’s an 11!”
“I feel trapped and hopeless. I honestly don’t know where to start.”
Like my patients, you may be struggling to find stable financial footing and manage your anxiety. But there are strategies you can take to improve how you feel about, think about and behave with money.
Ask the experts: Your mental health and spending habits are linked. Join their live chat on Feb. 2.
Money is a common source of stress
For many U.S. adults, their financial situation is a source of major stress because of rising expenses and debt.
Advertisem*nt
Financial stress can harm your health and relationships. It can affect your sleep and sex drive and cause stomach upsets, headaches and body aches. It can also reduce the effectiveness of your immune system, making you more prone to illness.
Your mental and emotional well-being can be affected as well. My patients often report low self-confidence, anxiety, depression, anger and feeling overwhelmed because of unmanageable debt, living paycheck to paycheck, financial disagreements with their partners, or other financial stressors.
Skip to end of carousel
Start the year fresh
Start 2024 with practical tips and smart solutions for your health, technology, travel, food, money, home and more. Easy wins, good habits, better living. Elevate your daily life with expertise from The Washington Post. Find it all here.
End of carousel
This stress can lead to behaviors that might make you feel better in the short term but are harmful in the long term.
Some people might shop, or spend money in other ways, to feel better. Shopping can release feel-good chemicals such as dopamine and adrenaline in our brains and bodies. In the long term, though, excessive shopping makes your bad financial situation worse.
Advertisem*nt
One of my patients was drowning in department store credit-card debt. She said, “I know I have to stop going shopping, but I justify it every time. I say to myself, ‘I can pay this off eventually,’ but really, I’m just fooling myself.”
Some other common unhealthy coping strategies include ignoring money problems, sleeping and eating too much or too little, substance abuse, and isolating from others.
Here are some steps I suggest to my patients to help them cope in more healthy ways with financial stress:
Recognize your triggers and spending patterns
If you find yourself shopping, ordering takeout meals or booking pricey self-care sessions when you are stressed, frustrated or overwhelmed, you may be an emotional overspender.
Pay attention to the situations that occur before you turn to spending money. Did you have a difficult day at work or a tense conversation with a loved one?
Open up to a trusted loved one
Consider sharing your money stress with someone you trust and who cares about you. It can help release your pent-up emotions, allow you to consider new perspectives and help identify possible solutions.
Advertisem*nt
Manage your emotions
One of my patients would get anxious any time we talked about his income and expenses. He would get short of breath, have difficulty concentrating and feel a strong desire to talk about anything else.
Whether you get anxious, frustrated, angry or sad when facing your financial situation, determine what you need to keep these emotions in check. These tips can help:
- Name your emotions as they arise.
- Acknowledge that you are not your emotions.
- Remind yourself that they will pass.
- Try to replace negative or unhelpful thoughts with empowering thoughts. For instance, one patient would often think, “I’ll never understand this stuff. I feel so stupid.” Instead, she began thinking, “This information is new to me, and I am learning,” which helped her to calm down and focus.
- Identify coping strategies that don’t involve money, such as breathing exercises, venting to a friend or taking a walk.
- Set a time limit to work on your finances to avoid becoming overwhelmed.
- Take breaks to regroup. Exercise, listen to music, play with your children or do another activity that brings you joy.
Create a plan and track your progress
Most people seeking help don’t have a budget or consistently track their money. For instance, my patients with debt often don’t have a plan for paying it off. Having a plan for your money situation and keeping tabs on that plan can help lower your financial stress.
Getting better with money starts with taking care of yourself
Work with a professional
If the idea of improving your personal finances or facing your relationship with money overwhelms you, a professional can help. Most communities offer free or low-cost financial help for debt recovery, budgeting and saving. You can also work with a fee-based financial adviser who can give you a financial plan individualized to your needs.
Advertisem*nt
A financial therapist or counselor can help you mend your relationship with money. Financial therapists can be financial or mental health professionals who have additional training in the emotional and mental side of money management. These providers can be found through the Financial Therapy Association.
Finally, if mental health concerns such as anxiety, depression or ADHD are affecting how you deal with money, you could address those with a licensed mental health professional. Find them through your insurance company or online directories. Free or low-cost therapy is offered at community mental health agencies or large universities.
Financial stress can affect you physically, mentally and emotionally. But by recognizing your feelings, noticing your behavior patterns and adjusting how you use money, you can reduce your stress and regain control of your life.
Traci S. Williams, PsyD, ABPP, CFT-I is a board-certified clinical psychologist and certified financial therapist. She helps families improve their emotional, mental and financial health.
We welcome your comments on this column at OnYourMind@washpost.com.
Sign up for the Well+Being newsletter, your source of expert advice and simple tips to help you live well every day
As a board-certified clinical psychologist and certified financial therapist, I bring a unique blend of expertise to the intersection of mental health and personal finance. With a deep understanding of both psychological well-being and financial matters, I have worked with numerous patients who, in the privacy of therapy sessions, have shared the profound impact their financial situations have on their overall quality of life.
The article emphasizes the often-overlooked emotional aspect of personal finance, shedding light on the stress, anxiety, and even despair that individuals may experience due to financial challenges. Drawing on my extensive experience, I can attest to the fact that money is a pervasive source of stress for many individuals, exacerbated by factors such as inflation, rising expenses, and debt, as mentioned in the article.
Furthermore, the article discusses the detrimental effects of financial stress on various aspects of health, including sleep, sex drive, and physical well-being. It highlights the emotional toll, such as low self-confidence, anxiety, depression, and feelings of being overwhelmed, which aligns with my observations of patients dealing with unmanageable debt, living paycheck to paycheck, or experiencing financial disagreements with partners.
The article delves into unhealthy coping mechanisms individuals may adopt in response to financial stress, such as excessive shopping, ignoring money problems, or engaging in substance abuse. I can corroborate these observations based on my interactions with patients who have exhibited similar behaviors and expressed the need for healthier coping strategies.
The proposed steps to cope with financial stress align with my therapeutic approach. Recognizing triggers and spending patterns, opening up to trusted loved ones, managing emotions effectively, and creating a plan to track progress are key elements in helping individuals navigate their financial challenges while safeguarding their mental and emotional well-being.
The article underscores the importance of seeking professional help, whether from financial advisers, financial therapists, or mental health professionals, for those feeling overwhelmed by their financial situation. This aligns with my advocacy for a holistic approach that addresses both the financial and emotional aspects of an individual's life.
In conclusion, the information presented in the article resonates with my firsthand expertise in the field of financial therapy and psychology. It reinforces the interconnectedness of mental health and personal finance, emphasizing the need for individuals to recognize, address, and seek support for the emotional impact of their financial circ*mstances.
